Mind Set Go

Something went on in the sky yesterday.  We can explain it, predict it, model it, anticipate it.  But seeing it—experiencing it?  That goes, not beyond, but without measure. 

Time almost stands still in a total eclipse, it seems.  The slow progression can just be discerned.  Then that moment of total triumph blares its horn in stunning fashion.  You see it, and it is as if your breath has been taken from you.  A gem beholden.

You’re not the first to witness such an event.  And hopefully, not the last!  It has left me crying.  Not for more, but for the plenty it revealed. 

In this life we would like to feel good doing what we are doing and also feel good not doing what we are not doing.  We cry out, “Stop judging me.  Accept me as I am.  Let go of the stupid to-do list and rule and score board that don’t matter, and just once, just once, see each thing, living or not, as the marvels they are.” 

How can I not get caught up in the drama called life?  I really do want to feel good.  I mean… I mean well, and I try very hard.  And I get knocked down not all that often.  But when I do, I can land hard in a land of mixed feelings and worries that spiral into something so distant from a total eclipse that you would think I landed on another planet.

In the time proceeding, we linger in this world.  It’s our world.  The one we think we know so well.  We are social, maybe even chatty.  “Oh look.  I see it.  It’s starting to happen.”  And little by little the shape proceeds, inching and creeping into place, all the while we are interacting with ourselves and each other.

But in that moment, when the scorching sun is forgotten, when the winds blow cold, we leave all of that behind.  Our heart rejoices.  We dance inside and out.  In that heart we climb a mountain we didn’t know existed.  We start to breathe again, and we realize, it’s real.  This sun, this moon and this earth.  It’s all real real in some ethereal way, like we never noticed before, and yes, triumphant.  Isn’t it?

It calls our name in languages we didn’t know exist.  We found it.  Awe.  Peace.  Rapture.  Gold.  Meaning. The sky is dark and a storm seems to brew.

And then the cusp returns, and the circle is broken.  Reality sets in? The dancing and celebrating seem to end in what feels automatic.

Hey, hey, hey.  Wait a minute.  Return to that second before.  You can find the magic heralded in by an axis in motion.  Try even if you might often falter.

It wasn’t a dream after all.  Was it?  Is it?  You will never see this world again in any way other than what it truly is and has been and could always be—if you let it.  Your eyes may cry oceans, as you let it all in.  One inhalation, one exhalation, at a time.  In and out and round about. 

If you want to feel good, want to feel loved, want to be happy, prove nothing to others, just believe in yourself.  The magic happens every hour of twenty-four; be altered and shifted.  Grasp on to what matters and hold on for the ride.  Your pony has wings now, so go on and cry.

Nancy Marie Farley Rice